Redder than Ketchup
by kingyofireworks
Summary: Post SBURB: Dave teases Karkat about some red feelings for a certain Egbert which TOTALLY DO NOT EXIST (but they totally do) I'm so gomen


Karkat slowly tied the laces of his new sneakers, attempting to buy some time. The shoes were bright red, as John has suggested, to add some colour to the troll's usual pallet. Karkat disliked the colour for a variety of perfectly valid reasons, none of which he would have liked to disclose. Next came his favourite black sweater over loose blue jeans. Human fashion was something Karkat was still getting accustomed to.

Eventually, there were no more laces to tie and no more clothes to adjust. Karkat took his backpack with a sigh and headed out.

Today was meant to be an outing for a few of the kids. Since the game, there had been a lot of health and social issues to sort out, and it had been decided that fresh air was in everyone's best interests. Karkat expected at least a few people. But when he arrived at the park, the only two there were Strider and Egbert.

"Here he is," Dave commented. John smiled as Karkat reached them.

"Where's everyone else?" Karkat asked.

"No one else could make it," John answered. "It's just us three." Karkat resisted the urge to groan. This was arguably the worst possible combination of people to go on a suburban nature walk.

"Let's get this travelling sausage fest on the road," Dave piped in, already heading down the park's walkway. John gestured for Karkat to follow, and they began their epic journey. Karkat walked with his hands shoved into his jeans pockets. John was trying to be discreet, but failed miserably, as he pulled out his inhaler and took a puff. John's asthma was one of many side effects resulting from the game. Interesting enough, most resulting problems had directly to do with each person's role in the game. Karkat was left with anaemia, although this wasn't terribly difficult to live with. Dave apparently became even more of a flaming asshole, at least in Karkat's opinion. He really needed to get that checked out.

As the group walked, John babbled ceaselessly about this and that. He had to use his inhaler in intervals along the way, using up all of his oxygen to talk. Karkat knew that as someone with a hatecrush, he should find John completely aggravating. But John had slipped out of the pitch quadrant over time. And although Karkat no longer harboured harsh feelings towards the human, he still kept it a secret that he liked the sound of his voice.

Earth wasn't so terrible when it was cloudy, Karkat found. Even this strange, manufactured version of Earth was bearable under the right circumstances. The carapaces were annoying as all hell, but they weren't from either of the groups' home plants. (So supposedly no one was to blame for their horrible presence.) As the two human boys navigated the streets, Karkat busied his mind with the cool wind. He kept his eyes on the ground, as the sky was still bright despite the clouds. He only had the mind to look up and eye John's white runners every now and then to make sure he was still behind him.

"What do you think, Karkat?"

Karkat looked up, having to squint against the brightness.

"Huh?" He said, earning a smirk from Dave. Karkat nearly delivered a right hook directly to his face.

"Prettiest human actress," John told him. Karkat hadn't realized they were having a conversation.

"Who the fuck cares?" Karkat asked. "They're all deader than dirt anyway." John frowned.

"Do you have to be an ass about it?" Dave asked. Karkat rolled his eyes. Sure, he felt bad about upsetting John. Strider sure as hell didn't have to add to it.

"I don't know any human actresses," Karkat grumbled, "But… I guess troll Drew Barrymore is okay." John seemed to light up at this, as well as Dave, who was laughing. "Is there as problem, assface?" Dave shook his head, still chuckling as he continued walking. Karkat knew very well he was scowling. He hoped he could burn a hole ion the back of Dave's head. John fell behind to walk alongside Karkat.

"Don't mind him," John told him. "He's in a foul mood because of… well, you know, relationship stuff."

"Whatever," Karkat grumbled. "I don't care. Where are we going?"

"We're just walking," John answered. Karkat stuffed his hands deeper into his pockets.

"Whatever," He repeated. John stifled a chuckle into his hand, taking a puff from his inhaler directly after.

The three continued walking around town, with the two human boys discussing girls and sports that they didn't understand and video games and everything else that barely existed anymore. John would periodically try to include Karkat, but it was difficult to relate to what they were saying. He mostly declined the opportunity.

Instead, Karkat watched John with tired eyes. Since they first became friends in the game, John had grown well. He kept his large, baby blue eyes, and a hint of his dorky bucktooth teeth, but his face had become slightly more angled; his body was leaner. Meanwhile, Karkat still has his grubfat. He was shorter and awkwarder. He was a little bit bitter, just because he hadn't reached John's standard yet. And as a pessimist, he figured he never would.

Karkat watched the way Dave and John nudged each others elbows and laughed. The way their tall legs moved in unison.

"Don't be so grumpy, Karcrab, man, I'm sorry for laughing," Dave told him at some point. Karkat didn't want to accept it. He knew that it was halfhearted, and he positively despised the way John's eyes sparkled with admiration as Dave 'apologized.'

"Whatever," Karkat mumbled for the umpteenth time.

"Us bros have to stick together, right?" John chuckled. Karkat looked at him. John was facing both of them, but Karkat couldn't help but feel that he wasn't part of this human bro dynamic. John laughed before taking out his inhaler. "I have to grab something here," He said with a puff. They had reached a string of human hives. "It'll take one minute. Be back." He went into one of the houses, which Karkat assumed to be abandoned. It took half a second for Karkat to realize that Dave was eyeing him.

"What the fuck do you want?" He snarled.

"Calm your shit," Dave told him. "You know, I'm not out to get you." Karkat glared at him. "I was just gonna warn you, you have the same blood colour as humans do." Karkat narrowed his eyes.

"So what?" he asked. Dave smirked.

"So everyone can totally tell that youre blushing."

Karkat felt his face go hot.

"I am not blushing!" He barked. Dave grinned.

"You soooo totally are blushing. I refuse to believe that troll blushing is any different than human blushing." Karkat wrinkled his nose and crossed his arms, dead set on scowling Dave Strider to death. "Everyone knows it, Karcrab. Youre totally gay for Egderp."

"That's not even a thing!" Karkat snapped. "And I am not flushed or red or… what do you call it?"

"Gay."

"I do not have a thing for Egbert!"

"Derp."

"Shut up!"

"You wanna troll kiss John Egbert," Dave laughed.

"Maybe you're just saying that because YOU want to HUMAN KISS John Egbert!" Karkat returned.

"No man," Dave said, shaking his head. "Im not gay."

"How is that a thing!" Karkat yelled.

"John isn't gay either," Dave added. "Sucks to be you." Karkat suddenly lost his anger.

"What do you mean?" He asked. "You mean-"

"He only likes girls," Dave told him. Karkat tried to will away the feeling of his sinking heart. "Or at least that's the impression I'm under."

"Right, but,"

"Who knows, Crabby," Dave said with a shrug. "Maybe he'd kiss a dude."

Karkat almost felt reassured, until he remembered who he was talking to.

"Just do me a favour and piss off," He huffed. Dave chuckled. "Besides, I bet human kisses are awful. I don't even want to know what one is like. My face would probably melt off just being in the same room as a godawful human kiss."

"You got it, champ", Dave laughed. Karkat crossed his arms even harder. When John returned, he was smiling like an idiot, and Karkat couldn't help but lighten up a little. Dave was quick to grab John and usher him to the side, saying something into his ear so that Karkat couldnt understand. Karkat was positive it had something to do with what Dave had just told him, and he wanted to stop him, but something told Karkat to mind his own business. Maybe he should just let Johns best bro push him around a little.

"Well, I guess I oughta head back," Dave said

"Already?" John asked. Karkat chewed on the inside of his cheek, personally quite eager to see the human go. Dave gestured to the sky, which had become even darker than before.

"Its late."

John nodded and they said their goodbyes, and finally, Dave turned to Karkat. He didn't say anything, merely tipped his ridiculous shades and gave Karkat a look. He then proceeded to hop a nearby fence and head back to wherever he had come from. John turned to Karkat with a smile.

"He's right," he said, "it is getting late. Wanna walk me home?"

Karkat nodded immediately. John laughed and Karkat could feel himself going red again. If only he could turn _blue _or _green,_ maybe that would be more inconspicuous.

"Come on then", John said, and Karkat followed him along the road.

Once the game had ended, the remaining kids had settled in Washington. The living humans found refuge in an apartment building near a shopping mall. The trolls lived on the other side of the mall, in a more urban area. This is where they felt more at home. Although, food and all sorts of mall-type things had been successfully alchemised into the mall. The kids would often find eachother there, grabbing a hotdog that had been made by no one, or watching a fountain that didn't pour water anymore. And these days, everyone was out and about with people they loved and people they missed and exploring the ruined remains of the planet they once called home.

The building John stayed at was currently empty.

Karkat accompanied John in the elevator and walked him to his apartment door. Each kid had their own apartment, because why the fuck not.

"I guess you'll head home now," John said. Karkat hesitated.

"Yeah," He replied. "I'll get out of your hair. But I'm not going home." John quirked an eyebrow. "I was told to stay out all night tonight. There's stuff going on that I don't want to be a part of, and I was hoping we'd be out longer. But I guess I'll just-"

"Then you'll come in," John interrupted him. Karkat opened his mouth to hesitate, but John had already opened his door and was waiting for Karkat to go in. The look on the boy's face convinced Karkat to enter the apartment.

"Can I get you anything?" John asked. He was puffing on his inhaler as he went into the kitchen to rifle through the cupboards. "Man, it's cold out."

"Are you okay?" Karkat asked. "I mean, I don't actually care, you're just coughing up a fucking storm in there." John laughed between tapered breaths.

"Yeah, it's just the weather," He answered. "My asthma is realty acting up." Karkat stepped in to swipe the hot chocolate packets from John's moving hands.

"Why don't you go lie down or something?" He asked. "I'll make this chocolatey shit. I don't want to be drinking a cup full of blood or anything."

"That's not how asthma works," John laughed softly.

"I'm telling you to lie down," Karkat told him flatly. John left with a smile. Karkat spent a good five minutes trying to make the awful chocolate drinks before taking one to John.

John had wrapped himself up in a comforter on the couch and was watching the television. He thanked Karkat profusely for the cup of hot chocolate. John looked deathly ill; cold and breathless and pale.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Karkat asked. John grinned.

"Don't tell me you give a shit," he teased.

"No, I just-"

"Sit down," John said, patting the space on the couch beside him. Karkat reluctantly obliged. Before Karkat could realize what he had been coaxed into, John had thrown part of his comforter over Karkat's shoulder.

"H-Hey," Karkat hissed. "What do you think you're doing?"

"You're shaking," John informed him. "Aren't you cold?" Karkat grew tense. He certainly hadn't realized he was shaking.

"It's probably the anaemia," Karkat lied. John giggled. Not just laughed; he actually giggled. Karkat couldn't believe how dorky this kid was. How… fucking adorable he was.

"Okay," John said, shuffling so that he was shoulder to shoulder with Karkat. Karkat didn't protest at first. He listened to John giggle like an idiot at the tv. He watched him struggle with his inhaler. He picked up the smell of plain shampoo and peppermints.

He felt his face go warmer and warmer, wishing with all his might that he could switch blood colours.

Eventually, John's head fell onto Karkat's shoulder, and it became too much.

"Get off me, Egbert," He huffed.

"I'm tired," John replied softly. "Besides, who the hell even cares."

"I don't want your head on my shoulder."

"Why not?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Because I fucking said so!" Karkat snapped. John sat back, completely removing himself from Karkat. He looked hurt, and Karkat could feel his stomach knotting up.

"I'm sorry, Karkat," John said, voice strained. "I didn't mean to invade your personal space."

"No, I," Karkat attempted, having a hard time finding the right words. "I need to get used to humans or something."

"Is that a big deal or something?" John asked softly. "Like, cuddling and junk?" Karkat took a deep breath.

"No, just,"

Karkat looked at John. He saw the genuine concern those big, baby blue eyes. Care for someone, the likes of which Karkat hadn't personally had the chance to see before.

Karkat took it all in, and decided he had nothing to lose.

"It's just that it means more to me than it does to you," He admitted. John's eyebrows quirked.

"What do you mean?" He asked, voice growing more hushed by the moment. Karkat knew his face was probably redder than ketchup at this point. There was no way John wasn't catching on.

"Fuck," Karkat breathed. "I.. I have r-red feelings for you, okay? I thought it was a stupid little hate crush, but you-"

"You like me?" John asked, a smile dancing on his lips. Karkat could feel his heart in his throat.

"Yes," He declared. "And I," he paused, unsure of what the actual fuck he was saying. "And I'm gonna kiss your face now!"

John stifled a laugh into his hand. He was turning pink now too.

"Okay," He said. "Go ahead."

And there they were. John was waiting for Karkat to kiss him. Just sitting there, lips exposed and ready for all the sloppy makeouts. How did humans even kiss? Was there a difference? Should Karkat lay down some rose petals first?

"Karkat?"

"Yeah, yeah, relax," Karkat instructed, waving his hands up and down. He leaned in, planting his hands in front of him and moving forward. He was panicking.

But John was waiting and John looked sick and helpless and kind of still adorable and John wasn't moving because he was cold and Karkat wanted to warm him up so he just went for it.

He took John's face in his hands and holy shit was he cold. And then Karkat just

Kissed him.

Connected their lips with a breath of air and a pounding of hearts.

And when he leaned back, John was breathless in a beautiful way and he was all pink and trembling. Karkat moved closer and kissed him again. Harder and deeper. Held his face and thumbed his jawbones. When he moved back again, still holding John's face, John was huffing and scrambling for his inhaler and Karkat was freaking out a little.

"John?" He asked, worried sick. John located his inhaler and took a few puffs before laughing.

"Karkat," He wheezed. "I'm cold." Karkat took the hint and relaxed, shuffling back under John's comforter and wrapping his arms around the human boy.

"I'm red for you too, Karkat," John giggled. And that was probably all Karkat ever needed to hear.


End file.
